Boss Will Be Always BOSS...................

 

Jokes...........

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
MANAGER: Do U know MS Office?    
SARDAR: If U give me the address I will go there sir.                             

SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..

SARDAR JI: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
DOST: Garam pani Q?
SARDAR: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

TEACHER - Batao sabse jada nasha kis cheez me hota hai ?
BANTA - Books me..!!
TEACHER - Vo Kaise..??
BANTA - Kholte hi neend aa jati hai...!!

BIWI ka antim sanskar karke pati ghar ja raha tha
aachanak BIJLI chamki.........
BADAL garje.............
TOOFAN aaya.........
BARISH hui.........

dukhi PATI bola

"lagta hai
pahuch gayi "

TEACHER: Aaj tum late kyu aaye?
School 7 baje shuru hota he.
KID: Madam,
Aap meri fikar mat kia karo,
School shuru karwa dia karo.

Laloo ki English Training.....

Laloo ji Bush se 1 monthEnglish ki training leke India wapas aye.

1 din phone aya,

Laloo ji says,"who's speaking?"

Dusri taraf se jawab aya.

"Are Hum Sasura Bushwa Bol Rha hoon."

Sholey-2

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to

Collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur!

Kahan hai wo loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka

nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! Jaakar Gabbar se

kah do ki Thakur

Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software

banana bund kar diya

hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye

programmers hire

kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par

powerbuilder chal

raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working

on a PC on one

Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a

laptop. Kaalia Starts

Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko

liya hai ye log

Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bh! i

nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log

consultants hain,

Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits some commands on his keyboard, then says:

"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska

server down ho gaya."

***** AT GABBAR'S DEN...

******

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"

Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar

sake? Kya soch

Keya aye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega aur increment bhi? Iski saza

milegi... barobar

milegi."[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]."Kitne

sessions hain is

machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot

naainsaafi

hai.[logout - logout - logout]. Haan ab theek hai...

ab tera kya hoga

Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."

Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!"

Yamraj Joke.......

A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE. SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS." 
HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.

ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN IS THE HELL....SAW YAMARAJ WHISTLING N RELAXING.
HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME.

-Scroll down

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> "SORRY SON, Appraisal time, HAD TO ACHIEVE THE TARGET..."

I.T. Industry Producing Movie

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Here are some newer movie titles:-

1. Login Karo Sajana.
2. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya.
3. Shaheed Hacker Singh.
3. Password De Ke Dekho.
4. Mr. Network Lal.
5. Terminal Sajaa ke Rakhna.
6. Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani.
7. Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Karta.
8. Phir Teri Java-script Yaad Aayi.
9. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!

Pareshaan thi Pappu ki wife....

 Pareshaan thi Pappu ki wife

Non-happening thi jo uski life

Pappu ko na milta tha aaram

Office main karta kaam hi kaam

 

Pappu ke boss bhi the bade cool

Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul

Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline

Kaam to karwate the roz till nine

 

Pappu bhi banna chata tha best

Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest

Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami

Appraisal ke ummid main deta salami

 

Din guzre aur guzre fir saal

Bura hota gaya Pappu ka haal

Pappu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha

Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha

 

Aakhir ek din Pappu ko samjh aaya

Aur chod di usne Appraisal ki moh maya

Boss se bola, "Tum kyon satate ho ?"

"Appraisal ke laddu se buddu banate ho"

>

Laugh Laugh and Laugh.......

Ek sardar darvaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha,his wife asks him"why r u standing here?"

sardar ji bole :"sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon."

 

wife :"to jaao na!"

sardar ji :"kese jaoon"

  bahar KUTTA khada h...!

Ek parrot car se takraya aur behosh ho gaya .

Car wale ne usse ghar lakar pinjare me rakh diya.

Hosh aane par parrot bola:-

Ayella Jail, Car wala mar gaya kya????

Aadmi nadi me doob raha tha,

Bola:- Ganesh ji bachao, Ganesh ji bachao.

Ganesh ji ne suna aur nachne lage.

Aadmi:- aap nach kyon rahe hai??????

Ganesh ji:- mere VISHARJAN me tu bahut nacha tha na.  

READ THIS LOUDLY..................

THIS IS THIS.CAT THIS IS.THIS IS HOW CAT.THIS IS TO CAT.THIS IS KEEP CAT.THIS IS AN CAT.THIS IS IDIOT CAT.THIS IS BUSY CAT.THIS IS FOR CAT.THIS IS FORTY CAT.THIS IS SECOND CAT.  

NOW GO BACK AND READ THE THIRD WORD OF EACH LINE.

Om shanti Om ka dialogue Students ke andaaz me ...

Itni shiddat se maine paas hone ki koshish ki hai,,,,,

Ki har teacher ne mujhe marks na dene ki saazish ki hai,,,,,

Agar tum kisi paper mein paas hona chahte ho,,,

To saari kaaynat tumhe usko paas karane me lag jati hai,,,,,,

Ye exams bhi apne hindi filmon ki tarah hote hain,,,,,

End tak sab kuch achha ho hi jata hai-HAPPYYYYS ENDINGGGGS......

Aur agar aisa nahi hota,,,,,

Toh exam abhi khatam nahi hua,

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SUPPLEMENTARY abhi baaki hai mere dost................ Ha Ha Ha...

"33 Marks ki kimat,

tum kya jaano lecturer babu.....

33 marks har student ka khwaab hota hai.....

33 marks har year ke student k sir ka taaj hota